A Place for me to say whatever the hell I want
Monday, November 06, 2006
Meet my friend...
I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years now, so I've completely forgotten what dating these days is like. But I have a friend who is single and always on the hunt. She's more the stalker than the hunter, watching them from a distance, driving by their house a few times a day, going through their garbage, the usual stuff you do when you have a "crush" on somebody. She worries about STD's but hates condoms. She tests guys for AIDS before she sleeps with them by giving them a cold and seeing how long it takes to clear up. Anything over a year and she knows that something's probably up.
You'd love her, all you single guys!! She's a pasty redhead who's about 6 feet tall. Her feet are a women's 10, which is probably a men's 9. She's a large "A" cup and has hands like the woman with "man hands" from Seinfeld (minus the hair, of course). Before she showers in the morning, when she is "au naturel", she kind of resembles Carrot Top, for those of you who know who that is.
Okay, calm down, guys! One at a time, please, one at a time!
If you are interested, I can give her your number, and maybe she'll call you and hang up sometime. No promises, though.
The mantra she follows is "What would Jesus do?" Well, apparently Jesus has premarital relations and prank calls handicapped people, because she wouldn't do it if Jesus don't.
When she moved out of her last apartment, she was so relieved to get away from her weirdo roommate. She always says that she hates to kill anything, even a spider (which she HATES). So when she found an earwig in her room the day before she left, she didn't want to kill it, so instead she scooped it up in something and threw it on her roommates bed. She has a heart of gold, I tell you, always looking out for God's creatures.
The next day, moving day, she empitied half the water out of her fishtank by scooping out the fish water with one of his good pots. She then put it back in the draintray with the other clean dishes. She also wanted to clean out the garbage can before she took it (it WAS hers) so she wiped out all the rotting food from the bottom of it with the dishcloth and hung it neatly over the tap again. Point of the story is that she's helpful AND tidy. And she can cook.  
Let me know guys, I would love to play matchmaker for this busty babe!!
2 want to get Lei'd!.:
OMG you are outta control
Either your buddy here posed for that pic knowingly OR you ahve a good eye...she really does look like carot top.....
By the way, remind me to NEVER piss her off MK!
7:40 PM
There is no way after seeing her next to carrot top that I could possibly have sex with her now. sorry
6:56 AM
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